


Living in Chaos

by annieapple24



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Sad Nico, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:33:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2292014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annieapple24/pseuds/annieapple24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico realizes why his life sucks so bad, and why he keeps seeing a rainbow-colored, glittery man at all the difficult points in his life. Can the son of Eris help Nico find true love and end the suckiness or will he just make it worse? Eris is the goddess of chaos and strife after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stupid Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> So I'll be posting two or three chapters at a time until I catch up to where I am on my fanfiction page (I just uploaded chapter 8 so it shouldn't take too long). I'll update once or twice a week. Next update will be by Monday at the latest.

Nico di Angelo was pissed.

He stormed away from the demigods grouped on the beach of the lake towards the shadows. He needed to get away.

He couldn't believe Jason would tell Annabeth his secret. How could he? Jason promised he would never tell, and he told the second worst possible person to tell. Thank the gods he didn't tell Percy. Nico would never be able to speak to him again. Or any of them.

He bit his lips to make the stinging in his eyes go away. The forest was close, but he could sense the footsteps following him were closer.

"Just leave me alone." Nico groaned as he turned to confront his pursuer.

He gasped when he saw the one and only mortal son of the sea god striding towards him. How could his luck be any worse?

"Nico, what's wrong? Why are you leaving?" Percy asked him.

Maybe they haven't told him yet. Maybe he's just worried. Nico inwardly scoffed. Why would Percy Jackson ever worry about me?

"Don't worry about it Percy. Just leave it alone," Nico said darkly.

The lighter haired teen tilted his head like a dog.

"Honestly Nico, I just want to help," he said, raising his hands in an attempt to show his innocence.

Nico sighed. "Well you can't Percy. You never have and you never will. So go sit on the beach and cuddle up with your girlfriend so you can ooh and aah over Leo and Nyssa's amazing fireworks."

Percy shook his head and reached out to touch Nico's shoulder, which he immediately recoiled from.

"Look, if you need anything at all, you know where to find me," Percy smiled and turned back to return to the beach.

Nico bit his lips again as he watched the only person he ever loved walk away from him yet again without turning back.

Apparently his brain didn't think this was enough pain, because he continued to watch as Percy did exactly what Nico told him to. He saw Percy's strong arms wrapped around Annabeth who was cuddled between Percy's legs with her head resting on his shoulder. They stared up into the sky in anticipation. Just before Nico was finally able to turn away, he saw Percy lean in to kiss her forehead.

In the forest, Nico was much more at home. The shadows wrapped around him, cocooning him in their freezing embrace. He wasn't quite sure where to go yet, so he wandered along the edge of the trees. The few monsters he saw ignored him, as usual.

Nico sighed again and swallowed the remaining tears he refused to allow to fall.

He did wish Jason had chosen a different night to betray him. Nico loved the camp's annual fireworks. Something about the bright flashes chasing away the shadows always made him forget his troubles.

But of course Jason just had to tell Annabeth tonight. And Annabeth just had to come running up to where he sat ready for the fireworks and reassure him that she didn't hate him. Of course that was even worse than if Annabeth had gotten angry and yelled at him. Even she knew there was no chance in the world of the two boys ever being together.

Nico followed the tree line until he could see the bright flashes reflecting against the trees again. He emerged from the forest on the other side of camp to see fireworks flashing across the sky. The campers were still there, but they were only small dots in the distance. He knew if he looked too long he would be able to identify each dot, so he steadfastly focused on the pretty lights.

A few moments passed before Nico noticed the presence behind him. One hand slowly drifted to the handle of his sword before he swung around to confront…

"You!" he shouted in surprise.


	2. Damen

"You!" Nico shouted in surprise.

He unsheathed his sword and raised it, ready to fend off an attack.

"Oh put that thing down boy, I won't hurt you unless you piss me off."

The man had a cool, smooth voice. His short black hair was raised into spikes and dyed in many colors. He wore a green shirt that was ripped enough it looked like it had been slashed by a monster with talons over a neon pink mesh. His bright blue pants were just as torn, but nothing but skin was underneath, making the ADHD part of Nico's brain wonder if he was wearing underwear. The man looked like he had bathed in glitter.

The only people who ever dared call Nico "boy" were gods, so Nico lowered his sword, but did not put it away.

"I...I've seen you before," he whispered.

"Yes, I'm sure you have seen me many times Nico di Angelo, but that's my mother's fault, not mine I assure you," the man loudly whispered back, obviously making fun of him.

"Mother?"

"Oh you know, Eris. The goddess of chaos, strife, discord. Basically the reason why you're life sucks."

"Eris," Nico murmured. "I've only heard of her having two children: Dysnomia and Ate. Who are you?"

Nico watched fascinated as the man's pink lips stretched into a smile, showing his white teeth. His almond shaped eyes stretched, but Nico was able to see the uncommonly bright green eyes hiding beneath thick eyelashes.

He looked about Nico's age, but his voice sounded much more mature. He had a darker complexion, but it was impossible to tell his ethnicity. He might be Asian or Indian, maybe Hispanic, or also possibly just really tan. His voice didn't give it away either, as his accent seemed so unique, Nico couldn't place it. Maybe a mix between a Midwestern American, British, French, Spanish, and Chinese. How that was possible, Nico had no idea.

Nico was so intent on studying the man's features that he almost didn't hear him speak.

"There's no reason for you to know me. I'm just a mortal demigod, like you."

"What?"

As far as Nico knew, the minor gods and goddesses like Eris, personifications of mortal concepts, like Thanatos personifying death, didn't have mortal children.

"I didn't even know that was possible."

"It's really complicated. Even more so than the children of Athena," the man shrugged. "For example my father, his entire family really, has been fighting with the Hatfields for Zeus only knows how long. I was literally born from my dad's insane case of strife and chaos."

"Hatfields…" Nico thought the name sounded familiar. "The Hatfields and McCoys. The Hatfields and McCoys. You're a McCoy?"

The man bowed.

"My name is Damen McCoy. So are you satisfied? Do you understand?"

"No," Nico shook his head. "I really don't"

"Well, maybe I can explain it to you next time we see each other. I'm sure that will be very soon." Damen said softly, almost like a purr.

Damen bowed again, before turning and disappearing into the shadows.

Nico was left staring at the rock the man had been sitting on trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

He looked up to see the finale of the firework display. He thought about how much Bianca loved the fireworks at the lotus casino.

He was about to sit down to lose himself in his thoughts before jumping back up.

He finally realized where he had seen the man before. Right after Percy had told him about Bianca's death and he had to fight the urge to send Percy down after those skeletons. He had ran away and after running though the trees for awhile, he had seen a man dressed in rainbows walking through the forest a few dozen yards away. He had been too upset to think about it and must've forgotten.

Nico had seen him again after Percy saved him at Geryon's ranch, feeding one of Apollo's cows. He could actually remember seeing the man many times after events that made him feel confused about his feelings.

And now, after Jason told his biggest secret and Nico was terrified that Annabeth would tell Percy, Damen had introduced himself. And promised to see him again soon.

Well fuck.


	3. Percy Knows

The next morning, Nico showered and dressed in a daze. Instead of leaving, Nico wandered around the forest until all the other campers had went to sleep and returned to his own cabin.

He had tossed and turned for hours, unable to get the sparkly, rainbow man out of head. Damen seemed to be his own personal ghost, representing all the worst moments in his life. But there was something so attractive-.

Nico stopped that thought before it could go any further. There was nothing attractive about the man.

Before he could question his own thoughts, he stormed out of his cabin, slamming the door behind him. He smirked at the two little girls who had jumped at the loud sound, and headed off to breakfast, praying to all the gods he could think of (except Eris) that he would get through the day.

He sat alone at his table, picking at the fruit that had appeared in front of him. He wasn't hungry, but he needed to make sure Annabeth hadn't told Percy anything.

As he bit a grape in half, he saw the cockiest blond demigod on the face of the planet stride up to the pavilion and settle himself at Zeus's table. Apparently the Romans that visited to see the fireworks had stayed overnight. Lovely.

Nico resisted the urge to throw a grape at the blond, or better yet a watermelon. While he was thinking of all the items he would love to throw at the son of Jupiter's head, someone walked up behind him.

Unfortunately, Nico knew exactly who it would be.

"Nico, you stayed!" Percy said with a smile in his voice.

Nico turned to see Percy standing behind him, his arm wrapped around a nervous looking Annabeth.

"Yeah, I couldn't really think of anywhere else to go." Nico hated the fact that that was true.

"Well, I'm glad you're here. You're still going to be on our team for capture the flag right?" Percy said.

Nico nodded, more interested in the blond girl's expression. She seemed to be avoiding Nico's eyes, which didn't make sense because she seemed way too happy with him last night on the beach. Was it just because Percy was there?

"Well, Annabeth told me what happened last night. Want me to beat Jason up for you?"

Nico's insides turned to ice. He looked back to the man who spoke of learning Nico's huge secret so casually. In the corner of his vision, he saw Annabeth hang her head. He realized why she had looked so nervous.

"She told you…" Nico whispered.

He saw Annabeth look back up at him, trying to tell him something with her eyes, but he couldn't tell what.

"Hey, it's not a bad thing. I'm just not sure why you told Jason of all people. You could've told me. I wouldn't have judged you for being gay. It's not like I judged Travis when he told me he was gay. Maybe you should talk to him. He would probably understand and could maybe help."

Nico knew Percy was out of comforting words when he started to ramble. He was trying to ignore how much he liked that Percy was trying to make him feel better. There was no reason to feel better though.

"Yeah but Percy it's different because-"

"Percy!" Annabeth interrupted him. "Go beat up Jason, I'll talk to Nico."

Percy gave her a confused look, obviously trying to figure out what he said wrong, but eventually turned and headed toward the first table.

Nico turned back to Annabeth and looked at her questioningly.

"Nico, I didn't tell him everything. He asked me if I knew why you left, and I hate lying to him. I just said Jason told me you were gay not that-"

"Thanks." Nico said, wishing people would stop calling him gay. He knew he was, but he only knew it as a derogatory term. Gay people were bad. A man married a woman and they had a family.

"I'm sorry Nico. Just try to remember how far people have come since you were born. Somewhere between 13-15% of mortals are openly gay. That doesn't even cover those-"

"Look Annabeth, I know you are trying to make me feel better, but I'm much better at handling this by myself. I've gotten used to it."

Annabeth turned away to watch Percy jokingly punch Jason in the arm and attempting to look stern. Then she turned back to him.

"One last thing, then I'll leave you. I don't think it's healthy to suffer in silence. Percy actually had a good idea, you talking to Travis. It's better to have someone who understands."

"I went through the deepest pits of Tartarus by myself, I think I'll be okay."

Annabeth sighed before leaving to break up the mock fight Jason and Percy had started.

Nico knew he wouldn't talk to Travis. He didn't know him very well and it would be akward. But he wondered if Damen might.

Rainbows+Glitter=Probably knows a thing or two about being gay. Nico thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I got that statistic off a random and very questionable website. Mi research tends to be lazy research. Mi only defense is that in October when BoO comes out, this story quite possibly might turn into a complete AU (Right now it is technically still a possible outcome) so I really don't know WHEN this fic takes place other than after Gaia is defeated and whatnot. Anyways, same as I said in ch1, leave your thoughts, eagerly await the next few chapters, and have a wonderful day :)


	4. Travis Tells His Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just barely making mi own due date. Super busy, and it doesn't look like it'll be lightening at all this week. But I'll still try to make the next update Thursday. I'll post three chapters tonight, hope everyone enjoys!

Nico couldn't believe how quickly word could spread at camp. He knew it wasn't just his imagination; not one person walked by him without staring at him. He was so used to the crowds bending around him to avoid him, but all the eyes leering at him made him uncomfortable.

He was walking toward the arena, hoping to find someone to spar with. He was hoping to find Jason so he could knock him out or give him another scar.

Okay, maybe that was a little too far, but Nico could still feel the anger he felt towards the blond coursing through him.

As he entered the arena, he saw that it was empty and sighed. Maybe he could just hack up a few straw dummies.

Nico went to the closest dummy and was about to start hacking away.

"Nico!"

Nico groaned. Damen was right, his life was sucky.

"What can I do for you, Travis?" Nico said in a sarcastically polite voice before slicing the dummy's head off in one slash of his sword.

He turned to face the man so he could speak.

Travis looked slightly uncomfortable, but cleared his throat and stepped toward Nico.

"So, Annabeth told me I should come talk to you. She told me about what happened and said I should try to help." Travis said.

"Yeah, I gathered all that already." Nico spun and sliced the left arm off of the dummy.

"I know you don't want to talk about this to a complete stranger, so I'm not going to make you talk. I'll tell you my story. Because sometimes it helps knowing that someone has gone through what you're going through."

Nico sighed and lowered his sword.

"How could your story possibly make me feel better?" Nico said, attempting to conceal the anger bubbling inside him.

"Just sit down and listen. Besides, what do you have to lose?"

Nico couldn't argue with that logic, so he sighed and returned his sword to its dark sheath.

"Fine, but make it fast." Nico sighed as he sat as far away from the son of the god of thieves as possible without being rude. Not that I care if I'm rude or not.

"Okay. So I guess I should start by saying: I didn't know I was gay until I got to camp and met... someone. He was totally straight, but I idolized him. I thought I was in love."

Travis looked down at his hands, wringing them together. Nico started to feel even more uncomfortable.

"I couldn't even tell Connor, because I was terrified he would think it was disgusting. Or worse, that I was disgusting. So I pined away in silence. When I found out Luke betrayed us-"

"Luke! You were in love with Luke?" Nico cringed at how incredulous he sounded. But was it really any worse than his own love?

"No. I wasn't in love, but I thought I was. I didn't know what love was. After I found out... Connor started to notice how different I acted. He knew it was more than the shock of his betrayal. He asked me if I was gay and I couldn't lie to him. But he was just happy I finally told him. I mean he still teases me, but that just means I tease him for being straight."

Travis chuckled, making the corner of Nico's lips twitch.

"No one here is going to judge you for being gay. And certainly no one will judge you on your taste in men. Actually, I'm pretty sure half the straight guys here would totally f-"

"Travis!" Nico shouted, shocked.

"What? Its true. He's an attractive guy."

"Yeah, he's the freakin most powerful demigod to ever exist! He killed titans and giants and not even-"

Nico stopped abruptly when he heard the sound of a sword clattering to the ground.

"Hello?" Travis called.

No one answered, so Nico grabbed his sword again and snuck to the edge of the bleachers.

His heart dropped into his stomach when he peeked around the corner and saw the retreating form of Percy Jackson.

"Oh shit," Travis muttered behind him.


	5. The Truth Shall Set You Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I apparently really enjoyed curse words when I wrote this chapter. Nico cusses just to cuss really. Just thought I'd warn yah in case it offends anyone

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck." Nico repeated this new mantra over and over.

"Dude, language. There are kids around. It'll be okay. He probably didn't hear anything." Travis attempted to console the younger boy.

"You're kidding, right? Oh gods, what the hell do I do?" Nico was starting panic.

"You should probably talk to him."

"No." Nico said flatly.

"Look, you have until after dinner to think of what you will say. You won't see him until it's time for capture the flag."

Nico looked at his feet.

"Yeah, you're right. I can do this. It's been long enough, he should know."

Travis nodded, and they left the arena.

Nico paced in his cabin, shaking from head to toe. He had skipped dinner, not having an appetite anyway.

"So, Percy, I don't know how much you heard, but...

"Well, I know you heard me talking to Travis and yes...

"Percy I'm in love with you..."

Nico spun and punched the dark wall of his cabin.

"Fuck!"

He cradled his hand, cursing again. Why is this so difficult? I thought this only happened to people in movies.

He glanced at his clock. It was time to go.

Nico checked to make sure he had his sword, and left his cabin.

He followed the streams of campers on their way to the forest. He tried to remember which cabins had the flags, but he didn't pay enough attention. When he played he usually just covered Percy and Annabeth's backs.

The closer he came to the group of demigods adjusting their armor, the more he was regretting his decision.

Nico looked around and saw Annabeth helping one of her sisters tighten a strap on her armor.

"Hey, have you seen Percy?" He asked her, trying to hide his nervousness.

Annabeth looked up at him, surprised. She nodded and pointed over to where Chiron stood at the edge of the forest talking to Percy.

Nico thanked her and started walking towards the two.

"Nico."

He sighed and turned back to the blond.

"What are you doing?" She asked lightly.

"Probably just fucking my life." Nico responded and headed towards certain doom.

As Nico approached, the two seemed to be done talking and Percy walked toward him.

"Nico!" Percy greeted the raven-haired boy. "You ready?"

"Not quite yet. I wanted to talk to you real quick. I know you heard Travis and me talking."

Percy looked down and scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's fine. But I thought I should tell you-"

"Yeah it is fine, Nico. I said I wouldn't judge you and I don't. You like Jason, and I certainly won't make fun of you or anything."

"Wait, what?"

"Nico, you know I heard you."

"Yeah, but I don't like Jason. Ew."

"But... then, who do you like?"

Nico gave him a dark look.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer that." Percy repented.

Nico realized they had almost walked back to the rest of the group. Suddenly, he didn't want to be anywhere near them. He wanted to run away.

"It's you," he muttered.

Then he ran.


	6. Are You Gay?

Nico fled, not caring where he went. When he reached his cabin, he leapt inside, slammed the door shut, and pushed a bed against it for good measure.

He closed his eyes and slowly sank to the floor, attempting to calm his racing heartbeat and his flustered thoughts.

He heard someone clear their throat, and jumped to his feet while pulling out his sword to point at the intruder.

"You really must stop doing that, it's becoming a nuisance."

"Fuck my life," Nico swore, returning his sword to its sheath.

"As I said before, blame my mother." Damen said smoothly, lying back on Nico's bed.

Nico took a moment to take in the demigod's appearance. His hair was longer, much too long to have grown in a day, braided into cornrows and dyed a dark blue hue with bright pink and purple tips. He wore a long sleeved green shirt with the words "Rocker Chick" In bold across the front.

But Nico had to take a step back when he saw Damen's lower body covered with tight blue leggings and a black and red miniskirt.

He looked up to the oddly dressed man questioningly.

Damen look down at himself. "What? Is there something on my shirt?"

"You're wearing girls' clothes. You're wearing a skirt!" Nico looked scandalized.

"I was unaware that clothes had genders. I thought them inanimate objects."

"Well yeah, but..."

"Calm, Nico. If you want I can take the clothes off." Damen smirked suggestively at the boy.

Nico just stared at him, shocked.

Damen sighed and returned to relaxing on Nico's bed, resting his arms underneath his head so that his shirt pulled up and revealed a spanse of dark skin to Nico.

"So I saw you've had an exciting day today." Damen said staring at the ceiling.

"You saw?" Nico asked, stiffly sitting on another bed, not ready to relax around the other demigod.

"Of course. I'm drawn to chaos and strife in others' lives. I always seem to show up when cute boys like you find themselves in discord."

Damen stood and slowly walked toward Nico.

"I am especially drawn to you, son of Hades. I have been called to you many times in my years of travelling the world. You seem to have had an especially difficult life, and therefore I made the decision to introduce myself."

"Wow."

Nico looked to the ground, not able to meet the man's startlingly deep blue eyes.

Wait...Again, Nico's ADHD brain spoke without thought.

"I thought your eyes were green?" Nico said.

Damen chuckled. "Could you not guess? I'm the son of the goddess of chaos. My body is literally at war with itself on how to look."

"Oh." Nico's head was spinning.

"Do not dwell on that, it is not important. What is important is getting my mother to leave you alone."

"Excuse me?" Nico was unable to understand the demigod's words. "Are you here to help me?"

"Of course, why else would I even speak to you. I could easily go about ignoring you, but I'm a demigod. My job is supposedly to save people."

"I guess that makes sense."

"I'll give you some advice, Nico. Stop pushing away your friends that just want to help you." Damen looked at the dark-haired demigod wearily, as if he already knew Nico's plans to disregard the advice.

Then Nico remembered his discussion with Annabeth and the decision he made after.

"Are you gay?" He asked the rainbow-clad man.

The only response he recieved was a chuckle, angering him. Nico looked down at his fists trying to compose himself. He hated it when older demigods patronized him.

He looked up to give the man a scathing remark, but saw he had disappeared again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is this. We are now officially to the part of the story I've just started writing recently (I posted this chapter on ff less than a month ago).   
> So, I know its not the greatest story ever written, but I truly love the character I created with Damen. In case anyone is curious, I picture him similar to how I pictured Magnus Bane in the Mortal Instruments series in outward appearance, but acts kind of like a Gabriel from Supernatural... That's the best way I can think of to describe him. If I could draw I would draw him, but I can't even draw a stick figure so.... Oh well...   
> Just let me know what you guys think, if you enjoyed or not... Thanks!


	7. Can Never Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed updating yesterday! It has been quite a week, and now I am so tired I can barely keep mi eyes open. But if I try studying, napping will definitely ensue. So instead, I'll do this now, and study when it gets closer to bedtime and mi weird ass insomnia wakes me right up.  
> So there is a ton of Nico angst in here. I would put a trigger warning, except they would really only apply to demigods so... yeah, enjoy this and the next two chapters. After tonight, the next update will only be two chapters, then I SHOULD be caught up and will do one chapter per update... But everything in life is subject to change...

Nico stared at the spot Damen had been laying moments ago. Was he really going to try to help him?

It didn't make sense to the son of Hades. It was very rare for a demigod to try to help those wronged by their immortal parent. So if Eris was purposely doing this to Nico, why would Damen want to help him?

Nico sat up straight. Maybe he didn't want to help Nico. Maybe it was a trick, and Damen planned to make Nico's life even worse.

But there was little point in that as well.

Nico decided not to dwell on the strange man. He had bigger problems at the moment. And whether Damen wanted to help or not, his parting advice was not exactly terrible. Nico knew he shouldn't push his friends away like he did, but he was so used to his solitary lifestyle it was hard to accept their help and understanding.

He sighed and layed down on the bed that Damen had vacated. Ever since Bianca died, he had withdrawn himself from the company of others, convinced he could find his way on his own. Then when Percy proceeded to save his life countless times, he realized that he needed others. It had been a difficult change to make, forcing himself to visit the camp more, starting conversations with others instead of waiting for someone to speak to him first, even participating in silly camp activities like capture the flag.

It was funny to think back to when he first learned of his father and the existence of this entire world that he had previously only dreamed about. The excitement that coursed through his body, the readiness to make new friends that were just like him. That crashed and burned in under a month.

His thoughts turned to Percy, as they often did. He could remember with startling clarity the amount of awe and admiration he felt when he first met him. Meeting Percy was, at the time, as amazing as seeing real gods and monsters for the first time. A true hero that saved the world by slaying monsters and helping others standing right in front of him.

When Percy told him that Bianca had died on their journey, had sacrificed herself for them, he took his anger out on his hero. He thought if Percy couldn't save his sister then he was no hero. Everything he had learned and believed about his new world shattered to pieces and no one could help him pick them up. But when he summoned the skeletons, he was terrified that they would hurt Percy. He yelled at them to go away, and after they were swallowed into the earth, he looked at Percy. He was forced to run away because he didn't understand what he had been feeling. Thats when Nico started feeling confused about his feelings for Percy. And he ran away so that he wouldn't have to face those feelings.

It was Bianca who made him realize that he was being childish. She told him to stop blaming Percy when he did nothing wrong. Nico ignored his shattered life and tried to build himself a new one by helping Percy fight Kronos. But he betrayed Percy to his father when information about his mother was dangled in front of him like teasing a dog with a bone, only to be betrayed by his father. The look Percy gave him when he helped him escape from Hades cut through him sharper than his own sword could have.

Watching Percy bathe in the Styx was harder than he thought imaginable, but he ignored it in order to get Percy to the fight and help convince his father that he was an idiot and to help his family. But when the fight was over and all the celebrations commenced, there was nothing for him. His father was proud of him, yes, but he watched Percy give up immortality for Annabeth and it damn near killed him. Of course he didn't want to lose Percy to immortality, but watching as he gave such a rare gift away for her was painful. The pain he felt at that moment was what made him realize how much he really liked Percy. It wasn't just hero worship like he had thought before. He was jealous of Annabeth. How Nico had wished that he was the one kissing Percy instead of the blond. Of course when thoughts like that surfaced he withdrew again, only to resurface at hearing of Percy's disappearance.

Needless to say when he found Percy at the Roman camp he was shocked. The man he liked (loved?) had appeared before him in the place none of the others could go. It was a relief when his father forbade him from telling Percy or any of the others the truth. Yes, he felt a little guilty for not telling the others, but finding Percy lost without his memories seemed like a gift from the gods. But of course that was shattered as well.

And because the last time he offered his help went so well, he offered to help again, and landed himself in Tartarus.

He shuddered at the memories that surfaced at that thought. His thoughts began to jumble until the pain and sadness seemed to replace his blood and air. The tears ran down his cheeks as he faced the onslaught of memories.

The monsters tearing into his flesh, torturing him and leaving him helpless.

Percy giving him nectar after almost killing himself summoning too many of the dead at the battle for camp half blood.

Bianca's ghost telling him goodbye for the last time.

Blue birthday cake.

The terrifying new world that changed so much in seventy years. Lost in time.

Seeing the hotel his mother was in exploding into pieces.

Unable to find Bianca in the underworld.

Hearing that Percy was gone. Finding the Doors of Death. Being overwhelmed by Gaea's forces. BrightseagreeneyesstuckinajarlivingoffpomegranateseedsjetblackhairPercycametorescuemePercyfallingintoTartarus.

Nico jumped onto his feet and shook his head, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. He was alive. Percy was alive. Everything was okay for a little bit longer. He just had to keep reminding himself.

Nico moved his bed in front of the window to block the sun still streaming through creating a dark mess of shadows in the corner of the room. He needed to leave, clear his head, try to remember how the hell to breathe normally.

Nico stepped into the shadows and focused. A moment later, the room was empty.


	8. Gloomy Brooding In a Dark Forest Is Always A Good Decision

Nico looked around at the trees bathed in shadows. Consiglio, the second largest forest in Italy. Nico tended to favor his mother's home country when he was in a particularly foul mood. Consiglio was one of his favorite places to escape because it was quiet and secluded.

He breathed in the fresh air, attempting to calm his racing heart and thoughts. The forest shifted silently around him, the previous presence of animals quickly disappearing when they sense him. Now he was alone again.

'Great,' Nico thought to himself, 'I run away from a dark, silent, gloomy cabin to a dark, silent, and gloomy forest. That makes so much sense.'

Nico shook his head and started walking through the trees, carefully climbing over gnarled roots and fallen branches that barred his way occasionally. He had absolutely no plan as to what to do now. What could he possibly do in the situation he was in?

He remembered his recent conversation with Damen. The man had advised him to talk to his friends. Ugh.

He knew his friends would be understanding. Actually that was the problem. They would be too understanding. And the thought of seeing Percy again made his stomach twist painfully and his head spin in a way that made him want to hurl. How could he ever face Percy again?

He already knew the son of Poseidon wouldn't judge him. He already knew that Nico was... gay. Nico couldn't hold back the shudder of revulsion he felt just thinking the word. Percy should treat him differently, he should judge him. It was wrong. It was disgusting. Men shouldn't have those thoughts about other men.

And maybe that's why Damen gave him that advice. Because he was secretly helping his mom. Because he knew what thoughts would plague Nico when he began to debate said advice.

But it was hard for Nico to believe that. The son of Hades had been around thousands of enemies, but Damen didn't give off a 'bad guy' vibe. Or he would certainly be one of the oddest enemies Nico had ever faced.

He wished he could ask someone for advice about what to do about the strange man. Should he trust him? His advice was probably what anyone else would have given to him.

Nico stopped and looked at his surroundings. He recognized a particular fallen tree that was crooked in a distinguishable 'S' shape. He let out a long sigh. He had succeeded in walking in a huge circle around the forest. He shook his head when he realized how similar it was to the direction is thoughts seemed to be moving.

"Fuck it," he whispered to himself.

The best case scenario for him right now was to go back and pretend like nothing happened. He would keep his head low, and try his best to avoid the talk that he knew Percy would try to make him have. He wished he could spend more time alone so that he wouldn't have to deal with his problems, but obviously that wasn't working. He would go talk to Hazel (Nico's sure she's at least a little worried by now) and then play the rest by ear. At least it was the best he could think of, and he knew from experience that if he spent anymore time alone that his thoughts would just turn darker and darker than they already were. And he knew there was a point where it was impossible to get any worse and he wouldn't be able to take it anymore.

Maybe he would see Damen again soon. The man implied as much. While Nico knew the son of Eris usually only came at true lows in his life, he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel better knowing that there was someone he could talk to about his problems that truly understood what he was going through, possibly even better than Nico himself knew.

With yet another heavy sigh, Nico found a dark shadow to disappear in.

And if he happened to take a detours in order to purposefully exhaust himself and ensure that he would sleep that night, no one was the wiser.


	9. Making An Effort

The next morning Nico felt like absolute shit. Not just crappy or achey or tired. No, he felt completely, and all-consumingly shitty. The extra shadow travel he did before returning to camp drained him more than he thought, and his body was paying for it. On top of all his confusing and chaotic thoughts, he was exhausted and had even accidentally slept past breakfast.

He still wanted to talk to Hazel before the Roman campers left later that afternoon. He would be cutting it close, but he hurriedly dressed and rushed out the door to the hill where he hoped he would find Hazel getting ready to leave with the rest of the camp's guests.

Just as he was nearing the top of the hill, pushing his way through demigods, he heard his name shouted through the din of campers.

He flinched for a moment before his brain recognized the voice let out an internal sigh of relief. He turned to find his sister staring at him with her big brown eyes, walking towards him.

"Nico, where were you last night? I don't think you understand how crazy capture the flag can be with both Greeks and Romans. I thought it would be a death match and there were Romans and Greeks on both sides! How could you miss that?" She began her exclamation before she had even reached him.

He couldn't help but sigh at her enthusiasm. It would be difficult to even make an attempt at keeping up with her.

"I was dealing with some stuff. Ended up taking a quick trip to Italy. You know, the usual."

Hazel immediately frowned, concern touching on her features. Of course she would know exactly what a trip to Italy meant.

"Nico, what's going on? You know you can tell me. I'll try to help however I can."

Nico nodded knowing it was the truth.

"I'm okay. I can handle it. I've been through worse."

Instead of reassuring his sister, he saw the crinkle between her brows deepen and her lips frown.

"Yeah I know you have. But you don't have to be so stoic about it. Everybody hurts. No one will judge you or make fun of you for it. I wish you wouldn't let it bottle up inside you. You have to let it out sometime."

In the distance Frank was calling the Romans to order, preparing to start the journey across the country.

"I guess I gotta go. But if you need anything, anything at all, just tell me. Okay?"

"Okay," Nico confirmed.

She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Nico didn't hug back, still awkward around human contact, but allowed the warmth to seep into his body.

Then Hazel kissed his forehead, and with one last goodbye, ran over to join her friends.

...

As Nico trudged back to the camp, veering towards the woods. He figured he could find a tree to climb and look out over the camp, watching everyone go about their activities. He couldn't imagine actually trying to participate in something right now.

He was just passing the cabins when he saw a flash of blond hair in the corner of his eye. Wonderful.

"Hey, Nico," Annabeth called as she fell into step next to him.

"Can I help you?" It came out more harshly than he intended. He bit his tongue to keep from saying anything else.

"Yes actually."

Nico looked at her in surprise.

"I need you to talk to Percy."

Nico groaned, throwing his face into his palms.

"Yeah, I know. I get it. But he's kind of freaking out right now. He thinks he hurt you and he's so angry with himself."

He rolled his eyes. Of course Percy thought it was his fault. Stupid demigod.

"I am glad you told him though, Nico. I'm proud of you." She smiled brightly at him.

Nico bit back a snarl, reminding himself how lucky he was that Annabeth understood. As much as he told himself he would prefer her to be angry with him, he also knew that he would rather go through Tartarus again than be on Annabeth's bad side.

"I'll think about it," He said quietly.

"Hey, I wanted to ask you if there was anything else going on. I know this has been a lot to take, but you seem double-mega-ultra moody lately."

He looked up to see her contemplating him, like he was a puzzle for her to solve. Good luck with that.

"Its okay. I'll be fine. I've dealt with worse." Nico repeated his response he gave to Hazel just a few minutes ago.

Annabeth's look didn't change, but finally she nodded and turned away.

He didn't get far though before he heard, "Nico?"

He turned back to see the blond suddenly serious.

"You have a lot of friends here, Nico. It might be hard for you to believe, but people here actually like you. And those of us who know... none of us judge you. None of us like you less. We all support you. We just wish you would let us."

Before Nico could respond, the blond was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully will update again Monday. Tell me what you guys think. It will only help me improve and encourage me to come up with new story ideas.


	10. Tattoos and Pink Potions

Nico still felt miserable. He hadn't seen Percy for two weeks, purposely avoiding him. He hadn't really talked to anyone since his last talk with Annabeth. And to make it all worse, he had had nightmares every night. Dark, terrible dreams straight from his memories of Tartarus that woke him up after only a few hours and kept him pacing around his room until the sun rose.

He was on his way back to his cabin after a long healthy dose of sword practice against the Ares kids. He had worked extra hard, almost scarring one of his younger challengers for life after pushing him hard enough to end up on top of the poor kid with his blade pressed into his throat.

Yeah, he felt a little bad, but Nico was tired of not sleeping. He hoped the extra exercise might help him relax enough to sleep more than a couple hours.

But after an hour or two of restlessly tossing back and forth in bed, he realized it was hopeless. He was just about to go for a walk in the woods to find a few monsters to fight when he saw him.

Damen was leaning casually against the wall by his door.

Thankfully for Nico's sanity- the son of Eris was not wearing a skirt today. Instead, he wore a pair of baggy, bright red shorts with a silver chain hanging out of the pocket, a black and blue t-shirt, and a white hoodie. His hair was shaved short, but Nico could still discern the stripe of white that made his hair resemble a skunk.

What fascinated Nico this time were the tattoos that decorated the man's arms, legs, and neck. They moved across his tanned skin in bright swirls of color. Nico was able to discern different figures: gods, goddesses, monsters, and even a few heroes. A particularly energetic centaur galloped across Damen's neck, winking at Nico when it caught him staring and making Nico gasp.

They were obviously magic. And extremely beautiful.

"Good afternoon," Nico said stiffly.

An eyebrow was raised in response.

"Yo."

Nico wasn't sure how to respond to this, and chose not to. He instead flopped onto his bed and glared at Damen.

"Look, I've had a pretty long day and I really just want some sleep. Do you mind coming back another time?" Nico tried to ignore the fact he had just invited the man back voluntarily.

"That's actually why I'm here."

Nico looked over to see Damen walk closer to him. He reluctantly pushed himself back into a sitting position.

When Damen sat next to him, causing the bed to dip, Nico leapt back as if burned, despite not actually touching the man.

An awkward moment passed that allowed Nico's heart time to quit beating as furiously as if he had just ran a marathon.

"And how's that?" Nico asked once he could breathe normally again.

"I brought you this."

Damen reached into the pocket of his hoodie and produced a thin vial filled with a pink, pearlescent liquid and held it out to Nico.

Nico stared at it with distrust. One of the first things you learn as a demigod is not to accept vials of strange liquids from anyone.

"Go on. It's a potion I made. It will knock you out for the next eight hours or so."

Nico cautiously took the vial.

"What's the catch?" He asked. There's always a catch.

"If you count having amazing dreams as a catch," Damen smiled.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it varies but you'll dream about something you like or something you desire. Stuff like that."

"But what if I dream about Percy?" Nico said so quietly he wondered if the man could hear him.

"You might, but you will still feel rested afterward, one way or another," he shrugged.

Nico looked down at the vial again. He knew he shouldn't be so trusting, but it was certainly an attractive idea. A full night's sleep, longer than he's been able to get since before Bianca died. What's the worst that could happen?

He looked back up to thank the son of Eris, but discovered that once again he had disappeared without even a sound.

With a mental note to ask Damen about his disappearing trick next time he saw the man, Nico shrugged off his shirt, climbed under the covers, and downed the pink liquid.

It tasted like cotton candy, and Nico vaguely wondered if Damen had done something to it because potions very rarely tasted so good. Shrugging it off, Nico snuggled himself into a comfortable position, already starting to feel the darkness of sleep crowding in on him.


	11. Good Dream

Nico slowly opened his eyes, rubbing them slightly as if awakening from a dream. He turned back to Percy, whom he was sitting next to under a tall oak tree. Percy was telling Nico about his day, his sea-green eyes crinkling as he smiled at the younger boy next to him.

He hadn't really been paying attention, but he noticed as Percy's monologue had tapered off and his eyes were focused on him. He watched, unable to breathe, as Percy reached out a hand to him, and smoothed a stray lock of hair from his face.

Nico felt the heat flood to his cheeks and shyly looked down at his shoes. But Percy moved his fingers to Nico's chin to redirect his eyes to his own.

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Percy's flicked down to Nico's lips. Nico gasped when the lighter-haired boy leaned closer.

"Is this okay?" He heard Percy whisper.

Nico's mouth opened, but no words came out. He tried again, but eventually just nodded.

Looking into Nico's eyes one last time, Percy closed the distance between their lips.

Nico's belly erupted into a swarm of butterflies as the heat of Percy's lips descended onto his own. A scorching hot path was formed across Nico's face as Percy's hand traveled down to his neck to pull the son of Hades closer.

A whine of disappointment was quickly muffled as Percy drew back. His eyes had fallen closed during the kiss, but he opened them again and was… confused.

No longer was he sitting in front of the son of Poseidon. Instead, Nico saw before him a man wearing bright, multicolored clothes.

"Damen?"

The son of Eris merely flashed Nico a smile before leaning in to connect their lips once again.

This time, it was not a swarm of butterflies, but a deep, slightly uncomfortable heat blossoming. Like lava oozing across his body or lit fireworks slowly preparing to explode. It was unlike anything Nico had ever felt in his life.

When Damen released his lips from where they had been captured in tingling fire, Nico's head spun and he grasped Damen's knee to attempt to keep his balance.

"Wha…what?"

"I'll protect you Nico," Damen whispered, pressing his lips to Nico's ear. "I'll keep you safe from my mother. And you can finally be happy."

Large arms encompassed Nico's body, and he folded himself into Damen's arms. Finally, for the first time in years, he felt peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys got lucky. This chapter is super short and it is the only thing i posted on fanfiction today. And we are officially caught up so be ready to transition to one chapter per update.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed and are excited to discover how Nico reacts! Tell me what you thought, comments, criticisms, suggestion, I'm not picky. Thanks!


	12. Regreshing Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry! twice in a row I missed mi Thursday update, I hope you guys can forgive me! This is a longerish chapter so I hope it makes up for it!

Nico groggily pulled himself out of a deep sleep when he heard a raucous thumping noise. It took him a few minutes to regain enough consciousness to realize someone was knocking at his door.

NIco moaned as he pulled himself out of bed. Never before had he felt so rested. Not a single muscle was sore, nor his head splitting. He yawned as he stretched, relishing the feeling before retrieving his black tee shirt from where he had thrown it on the floor the night before.

The knocking continued, getting impossibly louder.

"Alright, alright! I'm up! Geez, give a guy a second!" He shouted as he crossed the room.

He flung open his door, about to scare away whoever decided it was a good idea to disturb him, but was left with his mouth hanging wide as he recognized the black hair and sea-green eyes.

"Nico?" Percy asked.

The son of Hades tried to answer, but his vocal chords were frozen. He couldn't shake the feeling the sense of déjà vu that crept across him.

"Nico, are you okay? I haven't seen you for weeks. And nobody has seen you today. I thought you had left without telling anybody. I was… I was worried about you."

The flesh of Percy's lip whitened as his teeth pressed into it. Watching the occurrence made Nico's déjà vu double before a flash of memory had danced across his mind.

Did he kiss Percy last night? No. That had been a dream.

Blood flushed across Nico's cheeks as the dream vividly passed before his eyes.

"Nico? Seriously, are you okay, man?"

The son of Hades shook his head to clear it before focusing on Percy again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well lately and decided to sleep in today. Didn't think anyone would miss me."

Percy rolled his eyes but seemed to relax slightly.

"So, um… you wanna go sword fight or something? Might help you take your mind off things. And it's been awhile since we've hung out."

Nico hesitated. He knew that he should go with Percy. NIco needed to spend more time with his friends, and he shouldn't avoid Percy like he has been. It only hurts them both.

However, Nico also knew that it was a painfully bad idea to spend any alone time with Percy, especially after the intensely vivid dream he had had. His concentration would be nonexistent and he worried about embarrassing both Percy and himself by doing something incredibly stupid.

Noticing Nico's lack of response, Percy's face fell.

"Never mind, man. It's not a big deal. Just thought it would be fun."

Percy turned to leave, which sent Nico's brain into a mini panic-mode.

"Wait!" Nico said, grabbing Percy's arm then snatching it away as if burned.

Percy turned back to him expectantly.

"It's not that I don't want to Percy…" Nico began.

He swallowed roughly. Grow some balls. He already knows, so there is literally no point in lying to him. Just talk to him. You know he would appreciate it.

He knew he recognized the little voice in his head, but shook it off and focused.

"Percy, you know that no matter what we do it is going to be really awkward seeing each other now."

Percy opened his mouth to retort, but Nico quickly continued.

"And I know that it's my fault, but I also know that you are my friend. Spending time with you will be worth it. I'm just not sure I'm ready for it yet."

Halfway through the sentence Percy's face had broken into a smile, but it wilted when Nico finished.

"Oh, yeah I guess that makes sense."

Nico nodded and studied the boy carefully.

Then, Percy perked up again, the smile realighting on his face.

"What if I invited Annabeth? I mean, I guess it would still be kinda awkward, but maybe it would be easier if it wasn't just the two of us?"

The son of Hades considered this.

"Why not? I need to get out of this goddamn cabin anyway."

Percy smiled at him, which Nico shyly returned, before he turned to grab his stuff and followed Percy out the door to the Athena cabin.

…

An hour later, the three demigods rested at the side of the arena, sipping water helpfully provided by Percy as they regained their breath.

It had been fun, spending time with the couple again. Nico hadn't talked to either of them in weeks, and though he would never admit it aloud, Nico had missed them.

Now they sat together talking, mostly Annabeth and Percy, but they tried to make an effort to include Nico in the conversation. Though he slightly felt like a third wheel, he knew this was the best alternative.

Suddenly, Annabeth's eyes focused on something behind Nico and widened in alarm.

"What the… who in Hades is that?!" as she jumped to her feet and grabbed her knife, the boys copied her and looked in the direction her eyes were pointed to.

Nico let out a yelp when he turned.

There, resting his shoulder against the wall of the arena, was Damen, in all his glittery glory.

"Damen?"

Ignoring the stupefied looks he received from the couple next to him, Nico took a few steps closer to the son of Eris.

"Is this how all half-bloods treat their guests? Not very welcoming. I see why you're not very popular with mom."

Nico ignored him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked incredulously.

"Nico?"

Nico turned to Annabeth, almost forgetting the other two were there.

"Do you know this… guy?" Percy stumbled over the word, obviously not sure what word to use to describe the odd man.

"Yeah, he's a… um…"

"I'm a good buddy of Nico's. Yeah, we go way back. I knew him when he was just a little tyke chasing his sister around hotel lobbies," Damen said casually, inspecting his bright green and blue painted nails.

Nico flinched before daring to look at the utterly bemused looks on the others' faces.

"Seriously, man. What are you doing? Nothing is going on right now. In fact, I'm actually fucking happy. So what in Tartarus are you doing here?"

Nico ignored the hurt look on Damen's face and continued to glare at him before turning to try to give Percy and Annabeth some sort of explanation.

"Damen is a demigod. He is the son of Eris, born to the McCoys from the strife between them and the Hatfields. I guess he was born differently, like you Annabeth."

Now Percy's mouth was gaping like a fish and Annabeth's brow was wrinkled, pondering Nico's words he assumed. He decided to try a little more.

"So apparently he's drawn to people with chaotic lives, and I am apparently one of those people, so he introduced himself and explained how big of a nuisance he is and now here we are." Nico pretended he hadn't started babbling like an idiot at the end.

A heavy silence descended upon the small group.

"Well, I hate to interrupt such a warm and cozy looking gathering of friends, but I need to talk to my esteemed colleague for a few minutes," Damen said, grabbing Nico's arm and pulling him away from the others.

He turned to shoot them an assuring look so they knew he would be okay before rounding on the man to snap at him for being so rude and for being there in general.

"You still haven't told me what the hell you're doing here. And why are you showing yourself to my friends? Actually, what the fuck is going on?"

Damen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was annoyed with a small child, which only acted to infuriate Nico more.

"Nothing is wrong. I just came to ask how you slept last night."

Flush immediately crept across Nico's face as he once again remembered hi dream with Percy. But after a few moments he began to remember something else. Someone else.

He looked at Damen again, his mind finally making the connection with the forgotten ending of his dream.

Then, he gripped his sword tightly and swung at the man in front of him.


	13. Well, That Didn't Go So Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is either the best or the worst chapter. I'll let you guys decide that. Hope you guys enjoy!

Nico gripped his sword tightly and swung at the man in front of him.

His blade sliced through the air, encountering no resistance and throwing off Nico's balance.

He looked around and spotted Damen ten feet away to his right. Nico debated trying again, but he knew a lost cause when he saw one and he was till tired from training with the others.

Instead of swinging again, he lowered his blade and tried a more verbal approach.

"What the hell did you do to me you crazy bastard?!" He shouted at the man.

Damen forehead scrunched in confusion.

"Did something go wrong? I warned you that you might dream about Percy, but you seemed fine with that. What happened?"

"You know exactly what happened! You were there! You made me dream about you and I… Ugh, you freak!"

Nico would've continued had he not seen Damen's almost imperceptible flinch at the word "freak". That was enough to make him pause.

"Wait, you dreamt about me?"

Damen looked genuinely confused, which confused Nico even more. But before he could question it, he recognized the sound of Percy and Annabeth running towards them, probably responding to Nico's shouts and the sound of him drawing his sword.

"Nico! Is everything alright?" Percy shouted as they neared.

Nico waited until the others had made it to them.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just a little misunderstanding I think."

"You think?" Percy blurted.

He sighed when Nico merely nodded at him. They all turned to Damen.

The man still had a troubled look on his face. Upon closer inspection, Nico realized that the man's hair, which previously had been shoulder-length and raven-colored, was slowly shortening like it was receding back into his head and was turning a bright orange-red starting at the roots. His clothes seemed to be morphing as well, barely noticeable unless you really looked, and when Nico realized that was exactly what he was doing, he berated himself and looked away.

"Look, I still need to talk to you, but it would probably be easier to talk alone. I'll meet you in your cabin when you're done here. Is that okay?"

After getting over his shock at actually being asked for his consent, Nico nodded. Then, in a blink, the man was gone.

He slowly turned back to his friends, wondering how to explain.

"Son of Eris… that does not sound good at all. What's going on Nico?" Annabeth asked, perceptive as usual.

"He says he wants to help me," Nico tried."

"Help you with what?"

"He says he wants to help me get Eris to leave me alone. I guess my life really must suck if he pities me like that."

Annabeth opened her mouth to say something but shut it quickly. Well that's never a good sign.

"How exactly is he planning to do this? And why? It doesn't really make sense for him to go against his godly parent, especially since they are supposed to be working on treating their kids more fairly."

"Well, I doubt Eris is in on that. It's not like it's common for her to have offspring. She doesn't have a cabin here. And it really doesn't make sense for him to lie about it. As for how, well, he helped me sleep last night."

Percy and Annabeth both looked scandalized.

Nico's draw dropped and his face turned bright as a tomato as he realized how his words sounded.

"No! Zeus, no! No, I mean he gave me a potion to help me sleep."

"Nico! That's even worse! How could you take a potion from a complete stranger! A son of Eris at that!" Annabeth shouted at him.

"Hey, remember how people judge me for being a son of Hades? And then I helped beat the titans in the war? And made it through Tartarus alone in order to find the doors of Death? Well maybe we shouldn't judge him based on who is parent is!" Nico shouted back.

"And anyway, it's not like I cared what would happen. So what if it was actually poison? I probably would've welcomed that just as much!"

Silence descended again as Nico's words sunk in.

"Nico…" Percy started.

"Save it. Nothing happened. I just had some weird dreams. He told me I would have really good dreams of things I desired," he looked nervously at Percy. "But then he appeared, so I thought maybe he had screwed with the potion to freak me out."

"But he didn't?" Annabeth asked.

"He seemed really confused when I yelled at him. So I guess he just messed up the potion on accident or something."

"It was a potion to help you sleep well, right?"

Nico nodded.

"And did you?"

"Yeah, I guess. Missed breakfast, I don't remember waking up once in the middle of the night. And I felt pretty good when I woke up. No nightmares or anything."

Annabeth looked at him sympathetically, opening her mouth several times to speak before sucking in a deep breath and finally starting.

"Then he didn't mess it up," she said quietly, not looking at the dark-haired boy.

Nico ran the words through his head several times in his head before it dawned on him. Damen didn't mess up the potion. His dreams weren't messed up. He dreamt of what he desired.

"Shit," Nico mumbled, smacking his forehead into his hands and bending over, hoping he wouldn't start to hyperventilate.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Percy's sad green eyes gazing down at him.

None of them spoke while Nico was hit with the realization. It didn't make sense. He didn't really desire Damen did he? It made no sense at all.

"I gotta go, guys. I'll see you later." Nico stood and started walking back to his cabin.

"Nico!" Percy shouted.

Nico sighed and turned back to the son of Poseidon.

"You need to talk to him about it. Maybe it's not what you think it is. Or… maybe it is. And if so, then you should tell him. I should know, he deserves it. Plus, ya know, maybe… maybe he feels the same way. You'll never know unless you talk to him."

Nico stared at him, feeling his eyes water. Unable to express how he felt toward Percy, Nico merely nodded to him before turning again and heading back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in unrelated news, I'm starting a new story right now. It's a Supernatural fic, a How To Train Your Dragon AU called "The Battle of Evermore". It will be a Dean/Cas fic, starting with friendship and probably progressing to a relationship by the end of the story. But it will be different from mi previous stuff. I'm going to try to focus more on the plot of the angels and hunters and the battles fought and whatever else I convince miself to write about. I have a loose outline forming and rough drafts of the first three and a half chapters. If any of you would be interested in that, you should totally follow me. I'll start posting it a week or two after I finish this fic (This is 15 chapters and an epilogue in case you're curious) and I am super excited about it. I'll be posting it on mi AO3 account as well, and possibly mi tumblr if I really fall in love with the story.


	14. Dude, What The Hell Just Happened?

When Nico got back to his cabin, Damen was lounging on his bed, waiting for him. It seemed he had enough time to calm himself, now appearing as his usual cool and uncaring self.

"Hey," Nico said hesitantly, unsure of how to proceed.

Damen remained unmoved, but Nico tried not to let it faze him.

"So I'm still a little confused. What exactly happened at the arena? I've never seen you that freaked before. Not to mention showing yourself to the happy couple. What is going on, man?"

Nico waitied, less than patient, for Damen to respond. Finally, after what felt like hours, Damen shifted to a sitting position to face Nico. He sighed deeply.

"Look, I'm not really sure why I went to the arena. I'm pretty bad with the spontaneity. I guess I just felt like going."

The son of Hades waited a few moments before speaking again.

"And the freak out?" he asked.

Something flashed across Damen's expression but it was gone before Nico could recognize it.

"What freak out?" The man asked cooly, sending a dark glare across the room.

NIco kept his mouth shut.

"Look, it's wonderful you are getting along with your friends again. I sincerely apologize for ruining it. I won't let it happen again."

"What do you mean?" Nico asked puzzled.

This time Damen stayed silent, letting it sink in. NIco, however, did not get it. Damen sighed.

"I won't be back. If you are back to hanging out with your friends and other thing that make you happy, then my mother won't bother you like she used to. And you won't need me anymore. So I'll leave."

Nico felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice over his head. The idea of Damen leaving… Nico couldn't let that happen.

"But why?"

Nico could punch himself in the face. He sounded like such a little girl.

"I just told you," Damen rolled his eyes.

"So you're just going to leave? Just like that? Not even gonna stick around to make sure this wasn't just a one time thing? What if I get bad again?" Nico blinked rapidly, wondering if he had something in his eye.

"If you did, I would know. I'm attuned to you now. I'd feel it."

"But you would still be gone."

Damen stood, walking past Nico to the other side of the room. Nico felt panic, thinking the man was leaving, but instead he faced the wall for a moment before turning back to Nico with a pained expression on his face.

"Nico, I have to go. I can't see you again. Unless it's an emergency. And I'd know if it was. But need to leave you alone."

"That's not fair," Nico said, biting his tongue until he tasted blood.

"No, it's not. I'm sorry, Nico. This is all my fault. I should never have shown myself to you in the first place. I was weak."

"What? What are you talking about?"

Damen turned away again.

"I'm talking about the fact that you dreamt about me."

Nico blushed and turned away as well, so that now their back were facing each other.

"So what?" Nico cleared his throat, searching for the courage he was supposed to have as a demigod. "So what if I like you? You were fine with me liking Percy. Is it just me? Can you not bear the thought of me liking you? Do I disgust you?"

Nico gasped when he felt something hot touch his cheek before realizing a tear had slipped down it. Shit, now I'm crying like a little girl too.

He felt a hand on his arm and turned but kept his face down, scrubbing at it to remove the wetness on his cheeks.

"Nico," the son of Eris said, sounding pained, "you shouldn't want me. And I'm not going to let this get any farther. I'm leaving before something terrible happens."

The dark-haired boy looked up to the taller man.

"No, you can't. I still need you… you're help."

"No you don't. You need your friends. I can't help you anymore."

"So you're not my friend? Why are you even here then?" Nico could feel the anger starting to bubble within him. He knew it might be irrational, but it seemed so unfair for Damen to just leave him like this. He was a hurting teenage boy and he didn't like it so it made him angry.

"I really am sorry, Nico. I didn't want to hurt you."

"No? Then what did you want? Why did you come to me? Why couldn't you just have left me alone? I was just fine before."

Damen scoffed but did not speak.

"Answer me!" Nico demanded, pushing the older demigod away from him hard.

Damen stumbled, but regained his footing and looked away.

"It's stupid. And you don't need to know. I can't tell you."

"Why not?! You know all my shit. I practically lay bare all my most twisted secrets to you and you think you can keep secrets?" Nico yelled, feeling his face flush with anger.

"I can and I will," Damen answered stubbornly.

"Goddamnit."

They sat in the tense silence for a few moments, knowing there would be no impasse here.

"Please, Damen. I think I deserve to know," Nico said quietly.

He listened to the man's even breathing before he emitted a deep sigh.

"Fuck. Fine, you're right. But don't say I didn't warn you," Damen murmured.

Suddenly Nico was finding it more difficult to breathe. He moved to sit on his bed, facing Damen who remained standing, facing the wall again.

"So you know that I've been around practically your entire life. From the moment your mother died, I knew who you were."

Nodding to no one, Nico waited for the story to continue.

"I've always been fascinated by you. A young demigod, fascinated with mythomagic cards, completely unaware that the real world existed so close to him yet so far away."

Nico blushed, realizing the man must've been much more aware of Nico's existence than he had previously thought.

"I can't honestly explain how you affected me, but I found myself unconsciously following your life, trying and failing to help you along the way from the background. Even when I wasn't with you, I thought about you often. I've been wandering the world for over a century, and never before have I felt the way I do when I watch you. So finally I decided I was sick of watching you suffer from afar. I convinced myself that I could help you. So I came to you. And I was completely enthralled."

Nico's heart was pounding at Damen's confession. He couldn't let himself believe it. If the man really did feel this way, then why was he so adamant about leaving?

"Nico, it's not right and you know it. Like I said, I'm over a century old. I've never had a home or a family, or any of those things normal people have. I'm barely a person. More like a ghost. You deserve someone that can make you happy. Not a creepy stalker like me. I am not prepared to turn you into a Twi-hard-esque romantic."

"A what?"

"Never mind. My point still stands. This would never work, no matter how much either of us might want it to."

"That's bullshit," Nico said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this the least stalker/Twilight/shitty as possible. Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!
> 
> Oh, also, there is one chapter and an epilogue left in this story. I might eventually write a few one-shots with these characters because I absolutely love Damen. For now I'm working on mi Supernatural fic. There will be a one or two week lull between the fics, and I'll probably only be doing one update a week. But everyone should check it out. Yay!


	15. So What Now?

"That's bullshit," Nico said.

Damen finally turned to face him, hi expression almost broken.

"I'm over seventy years old. I can't believe you think that would matter to me. We are both lost in time."

Damen started to say something, but Nico wouldn't let him.

"No, I've wandered too, Damen. I creep in shadows and watch others rather than joining. I've always been alone. But I don't have to be."

The two demigods faced each other fully, searching each other's eyes.

"Nico…"

"It's okay," Nico quieted the man.

"But I'll just make it worse, Nico. Chaos follows me. I am chaos. Even today, just meeting your friends I managed to fuck everything up."

"No you didn't. That wasn't even a proper meeting. I know they'd love you if you hung out with us."

Damen chuckled half-heartedly.

"Are you even aware of how complicated it would be for us to be together?"

"Maybe a little. But we are half-bloods. I don't know about you but I know I've been through worse and much less beneficial."

"Beneficial?" Damen half smirked at Nico, a hesitant hope rising in his eyes.

Nico swatted the taller man's arm.

"You know what I meant. You make me feel better, dumbass," Nico chastised.

Damen tsked, "You know calling me names isn't very nice. I'm hurt. Maybe I'll leave so I don't have to deal with this abuse."

Nico poked his tongue out at him.

"But you're serious? You're willing to try this?" Damen asked, surprisingly nervous.

"What exactly would we be trying?"

"I don't know, I mean… I haven't exactly asked a guy out before."

"Neither have I," Nico pointed out. "And you're the oldest, which means you have to do it."

"You're never gonna stop bugging me about that, are you? Didn't think so. Sigh. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and do it."

The son of Eris grabbed Nico's hands and knelt on the floor.

"Dude, you're not proposing," Nico blushed.

"Yes I am. I am proposing that you, Nico di Angelo, and I, Damen McCoy, become boyfriend and boyfriend to properly annoy each other from now on."

Nico suddenly felt very nervous. Maybe it was the word 'boyfriend', but something made Nico's anxiety spike.

Damen, seeming to sense this, stood back up and pulled them over to the bed to sit down. He kept Nico's hands in his, which helped to soothe the boy some. Nothing that felt this right could be that wrong, could it?

"It's okay, Nico. I know it's fast, and kinda scary. I came from a time when being with another man was unimaginable. I've seen some bad stuff over the years. But luckily, I've seen so much good as well. The world has come so far. It'll be rough in some cases, but it'll be so worth it."

The irony was not lost on Nico of the tables turning so suddenly, Damen now comforting him.

"I know. I just… we should take it slow. Make sure we're both comfortable with everything first. I don't wanna screw this up.

Damen nodded and squeezed his hands.

"Are you comfortable with this?"

Nico smiled and nodded.

Damen leaned a little closer, making Nico's heart thunder.

"And this?"

Nico nodded again, slower this time.

Now Damen brought their lips an inch apart and stared into the boy's eyes. For a moment Nico was lost in them, at the moment a strange, dark-violet color, but was soon drawn to his lips.

"This?"

"Yes," Nico managed to breathe, tasting Damen's own breath on his lips.

His heart almost stopped when Damen connected them. He was not prepared for what he felt.

In his dream he had felt the heat, the butterflies, which were all good and enjoyable. What Nico could not have possibly prepared for was the electricity that sparked, the strange tingling that worked from his spine across his whole body and settling in his fingers and toes. What he never in a million years could have prepared for was the intense, indescribable feeling in the deepest part of his chest, straight from a crappy romance novel he never read.

When they finally parted, Nico remembered to breathe.

"And that?" Damen asked, equally as breathless.

"Fuck yes," Nico whispered before grabbing the man's neck and connecting them once again.

When they came up for air, their foreheads rested together, eyes closed, listening to each other breathing. The tingling sensation had yet to go away.

"Yeah, that wasn't so bad," Nico whispered.

"Not bad? I'm a little offended."

"It was amazing, jerk." Nico smiled.

Damen stared at him for a moment. It had been so long since either had felt so happy, maybe they never had. They soaked it up, savoring the moment, enjoying every bit of it.

"So you never actually answered me," Damen murmured into Nico's ear.

Nico pretended to think for a moment.

"I guess I could put up with that ugly mug of yours."

Damen smacked his arm, giggling. He grabbed the boy and pulled him so they were lying side by side and kissed him again.

"And I'll put up with your oh-so-witty repertoire of sarcasm," Damen promised.

…

Nico may or may not have fallen asleep with his head on Damen's chest, their arms wrapped around each other, legs entwined. Damen may or may not have let him, just to watch him sleep.

Neither moved until that night when Percy and Annabeth came to check on him.

Nico answered the door with a smile, Damen in tow, and invited them in, enjoying the pleasantly surprised shock on their faces. He properly introduced Damen as his boyfriend and gave them a quick, watered-down version of the story. They congratulated him, bidding them both a good night with a request for Nico to tell Chrion about his new guest as soon as possible. Nico agreed and said good night.

Nico asked Damen to stay the night, which the man readily agreed to. Nothing happened except sleep, of course, neither of them ready for the next step quite so soon. But with Damen in his arms, Nico realized that he might be ready for something more much sooner than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! Just got a quick, fluffy epilogue to wrap up the story! See you guys Thursday (if I don't forget again).


	16. Epilogue: Back to the Beginning

Almost 1 year later

The campers were spread across the beach, murmuring to each other, waiting for something. They were stretched across beach towels laid across the sand, huddled in excited groups.

All the demigods gathered by the water, both Greek and Roman, loved the fireworks. Leo and Nyssa never ceased to amaze them with their creativity, and the show-goers eagerly awaited the disappearance of the last rays of sunshine.

Percy turned to the man next to him carefully so as to not jostle Annabeth's head on his shoulder, whispering something and making the other man laugh.

Nico felt Damen's laugh vibrate through his body from where his own head rested on his shoulder, mirroring Annabeth and Percy. The excitement coursed through him both from the anticipation for the fireworks he greatly enjoyed and for the feeling of complete happiness that he was still unaccustomed to and the greater sense of belonging than he had ever felt before in his life.

While they naturally had their inevitable bad days, Nico was still pleasantly surprised that most of his days for the past years held equal amounts of contentment and calm.

Damen was not quite easy to get used to. The man could go from cracking wildly inappropriate jokes to complete seriousness in less than a second. Nico never knew how he would react to a new situation, or even situations they had faced before as Damen never could get a handle on the chaos that still seemed to dictate his life. But this chaos seemed different somehow. While his life used to feel like getting sick on a roller coaster, now it felt like coming home to a cozy but messy home.

Most of the other campers had readily accepted Damen. A few were cautious of the strange man, but after the meeting with Chiron and his acceptance into the camp, Damen was just another half-blood. The oldest in the camp, yes. The brightest and glitteriest, of course. But anyone who had a problem with it kept their mouths shut.

As was now standard protocol at camp, a new cabin was built a few months after Damen's acceptance, a cabin to Eris. Annabeth included Damen's wacky wardrobe and intense personality into the design, using warring colors, white and black, silver and gold, red and green, and the cabin seemed utter chaos. A depiction of a golden apple graced the front. In short, it was perfect.

While Nico's life still was not completely fixed, they all knew it never would or could be, it was an amazing improvement that Nico found it difficult to complain about.

After dating, Nico unfortunately still had to fight not to cringe at the implications of the word, for six months, Damen showed Nico how he was able to move from place to place so quickly. Even Damen did not entirely understand it, but he attempted to explain how he was able to manipulate the order of space and time for a few moments. It wasn't nearly as powerful or effective as shadow travel. He had yet to move forward or backward in time, and he could only move a few miles at a time, resulting in bunny hops across long did, however, have more practice in doing so, making it easier for Damen to move them place to place than Nico.

For their sixth month-iversary, Damen had been able to sneak them to New York, where he bought Nico a necklace: a silver skull and crossbones pendant on a dark cord. Despite its cheesiness, Nico never took it off. In return, he bought Damen a multi-colored leather bracelet with an attachable metal pendant of an ancient symbol for chaos that resembled a sun with arrowed rays emitting from all sides.

That night, walking through Central Park holding hands, Nico told Damen that he loved him.

Now they were trying to decide how to celebrate their one year anniversary. Despite them denying it anytime Nico asked, he was entirely sure that Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel were planning them a surprise party.

Suddenly, a bright orange light exploded across the sky. Nico gasped and snuggled his body further into Damen's so that he could raise his head slightly.

He felt Damen's lips press into his hair lightly, before letting his head rest lightly against Nico's. Their fingers found each other and they both relaxed, watching the display that mirrored the happiness they felt together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Might add some time stamps or future relationshipy stuff later, cuz I love Damen, but that will have to wait. Sorry this is super late, but we are on fall break which means a six hour drive up to mi hometown and spending time with family and friends. And I've been very very lazy. But here it is. Hope you enjoyed. Will definitely start uploading mi new fic I've been talking about before the end of October, in case anyone is interested.


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